Back Alley Astrology

The process of understanding astrology has been a long road for me... 

As a kid I rarely enjoyed reading. I experienced great difficulty slipping into a space where reading stops being a process of identifying words and becomes a flowing stream of coherent information. Too much of my time was spent returning to the beginning of paragraphs after realizing I had read each word, but retained absolutely none of their meaning. Due to this little problem my astrological education was primarily experiential instead of literary. I feel this lead to a complex and unconventional perspective of the subject.

I experience each facet of astrology the way a chef might experience seasoning and temperature. A good chef (I imagine) can visualize the flavor of their dish before its creation. When a pan is set to a specific level of heat or specific amounts of salt are added to a pot I imagine they are not just thinking, "This much salt is the amount tongues tend to find pleasing." I imagine they would also think, "This much salt feels right, in order to make the dish taste the way I envision it." When we first look at astrology we see each part as just generally salty, or just generally sweet, but it takes time and practice to comprehend the emotional chemistry potential in the skillful union of those parts. For me astrology is like cooking. A certain level of one facet, mixed with a certain level of another, results in certain flavors of reality or personality. Most of my grasp is therefore based on difficult to describe existential flavors. 

Throughout my travels I have found theories and philosophies with which I resonate deeply, but nothing I adhere to 100%. Because my experience of astrology is based on what feels right more than what is traditional, I jokingly refer to it as back alley astrology. I hope reading about it is as enjoyable for you as it was for me to piece together.

   

Updates and other Blogopotomonstrosesquipedaliofobias

Why "Humble Galactic Center"?

1. It's ironic (relatively)

2. Currently the GC abides in Sagittarius and I am a fan of that

3. The Mayan 2012 Apocalypse is partially based on the position of the GC and I figured this would be a great chance to have a cheesy inside joke with myself.

4. Each of us is a humble center of the galaxy.

Four is good enough.

So it has been quite a while since I blogged and I assumed it wouldn't happen again (I lose interest easily in stuff). Behold however, new bloggings are upon us... Rejoice if you must.

The Deer Park Experience -

It takes a looong time for me to process experiences, and I have been sequestering my self as I absorb my Deer Park experience. Throughout my semi-hermitage, many people have asked for updates on my life, and I admit it has been a bit overwhelming amidst all the processing (maybe I should upgrade my processor). Today I realized this could be a good way to keep people aware of my state without keeping me attached to a computer for several hours a day. So here is what I have been up to so far...

About the time I started this blog, I found myself very disappointed with life. As a child I never felt connected to others, I felt more like an observer and a performer. I never seemed to grasp the importance of career, money, social acceptance, or status. As I grew up, I saw two choices before me.

1. Conform (as best you can) and try to find joy in the human condition. See it as a challenge and find a way to overcome the kicking and screaming urge to abandon a life full of "imperative things".

2. become a crazy homeless person weee!

Then I discovered monasteries; a refuge for crazy homeless people HAhaha.

Deer Park was so contrary to my previous experiences. Of course there were the same interactions you have in any other place, but the overall theme was different. People weren't just doing things to do them. They were doing them to learn, to become better people for everyone around them, to grow as a collective. If I had a bad experience with another person, I couldn't think, "Why is that person such a dick, how could they act that way, who do they think they are?" I thought, "Why is my reaction to this person like this, how can I use this to understand my self and others, where did I learn to react based on wrong view and half-information, how crazy do I look laughing at myself while feeding turtles?".

I have never visited another monastery, but it seems the Plum Village tradition is unique. Very little of the day is devoted to sitting. Instead everything you do is a meditation, when you walk you are not just heading to a destination, you are recognizing the texture of the ground and arriving at a fresh destination with each step. When you eat, you are not just abating hunger, you are savoring the flavor and texture of each chew, appreciating the history of the bite, and reducing the form of each morsel to basic nourishment. When you work, you are not "getting the job done", you are sweeping the straw broom across the cement ground, appreciating that you have ears that can hear each scratching brush, and clearing the dust off a space somewhere within your self. When you share tea with another person, you don't just gulp tea and talk about the weather, you bask in the experience of another unique perspective, play with the flavor of jasmine as it dances warm on your tongue, observe as the steam rises to become a cloud again and realize, "long after this body is gone, I will still be sharing this tea".

So it was several months of only one "imperative thing", pay attention.

I was floored to discover how much I ignore on a regular basis. When was the last time I noticed I was breathing? When was the last time I noticed breathing is quite enjoyable? When was the last time I appreciated the fact that my knees work without pain? That's not even getting into the stuff one thinks or feels every moment of the day. When was the last time I accepted everything I thought and felt without opinion or judgment? Meditation is hard work, I wanted to sleep a lot.

I met a lot of great people who want to make a positive difference in the world. I didn't think those people existed (or at least I thought all 10 of those people worked at google). I thought people just lived to get by, or to be acceptable to their families/friends. I thought people who wanted to make others happy were rare and that compassion was generally not cost effective. Yeah, I'm glad I was wrong. I met a lot of people who I consider family, and I currently keep in touch with them at a similar frequency (sorry guys).

After Deer Park -

At a specific point I came to the realization that I visited Deer Park because I didn't know what was next, but I needed to take some sort of action. When I left, I was considering becoming a monastic (and still am). I had never practiced outside a monastery though, so wanted to try practicing on my own. For the moment, I am giving that a shot. Here is my Mon - Thurs practice schedule (I have a big bell alarm that goes off before each event):

Wake up

Sitting Meditation

Drink Tea

Eat Breakfast

Work

Rest

Lunch

Exercise

Study

Walking/Sitting Meditation

Dinner

Free Time

Bed

It has been rough, especially without a physical sangha, but I have an odd theme when it comes to life. If I was stranded and without possessions on another planet, I should still be able to do it. So my days are filled with feeling out my own practice system, studying, and working on my site database.

Hospital -

A few months ago, I went to the emergency room with some severe abdominal pain. I turned out to have pancreatitis, abnormal liver readings, and only one functioning kidney (likely congenital). After about a week of tests and IV fasting, they removed my gallbladder and sent me home. So far all is well. I have been more adamant about a mostly vegan diet, which has proven to be pretty fun. Generally I can't cook, but making yummy AND healthy vegan dishes has been a fun challenge. I made a tofu pot roast last night and used the leftovers in an edemame spinach salad w/ ginger sesame vinegarette. Om Nom Nom.

Astro Program -

This program can be frustrating at times. Part of the frustration is due to the fact that astrology is a flowing and ever changing synthesis of abstract concepts, and part has to do with the fact that computer programming is not my friend. The concepts I am discovering while trying to communicate astrology to computer language, are pretty damned cool however.

The basic concept behind astrology is that each unique perspective is a product of it's environment and as an arising individuation, participates in the evolution of that environment. Astrology states there are rhythms or cycles by which the arising and individualizing of perspectives occurs.

1. I'm discovering these cycles as endless and sooo complex.

2. Individual's perspective is 100% solid.. Oh it's also 100% relative, and subject to change.

3. Each individual perspective is an extension of an infinite collective and there are no definite lines of separation. Like a left eye and a right eye, nose, tongue, ears, nerves result in one experience, or your food is made of photons, water molecules, minerals, dead snails, and you are made of your food, only to eventually become food for many other somethings. These concepts function like fractals, so they extend to all levels of experience; we breathe each other's exhalation, and consume each other's waste, our bodies are one body, my thoughts effect your thoughts, our minds are 2 perspectives of “mind”. My self effects your self, we are 2 experiences of "Self".

4. Knowing this crap doesn't make any difference, because ultimately it's only based on my perspective experience, and shit's gonna go down regardless of how much you know about it.

I go back and forth a lot about whether or not designing this program is worth while. I keep reminding myself that it is what is in front of me "now", and the only imperative is to pay attention. lol

So anyway, that's what I have been doing...